Thursday, December 29, 2011

Pakatan Rakyat 13th General Election Strategy and Consensus

PKR De Fecato Leader: Thank you my brothers for being here

DAP: (Grinning. For our sake)

PAS: (Wider grin. And ours)

PKR De Fecato Leader: Doing the maths, my wet "Malaysia Spring" dream has to be put on hold. But let's promise the BN maximum havoc. That being the case, in the eventuality, lets discuss sharing the spoils of the big war. By consensus of course, in my personal opinion.

MB PAS: Perlis, Perak and Kedah up North. In the East, Kelantan without saying, Terengannu and Pahang ours. DAP can shut up.

CM DAP: Oi brother PAS, Perak may have been yours but only because no choice. We are getting some really upstanding Malays to contest and when we win, you will have to shut up.

MB PAS: Okay, okay we get the drift

PKR De Fecato Leader: So it's decided then

Ex-MB PAS: What is decided?

PKR De Fecato Leader: Perak.

MB PAS: We get the drift and it's decided?

PKR De Fecato Leader: Then what? Okay, we agree to disagree. Consensus. That is only my personal opinion.

Most Senior DAP: Agreed (you better agree)

MB PAS: Agree (wait lah)

MB PKR: Don't agree boss

PKR De Fecato Leader: Don't agree what?

MB PKR: Perlis and Pahang

PKR De Fecato Leader: You shut up. This is consensus.

MB PKR: Okay boss

CM DAP: Penang with-out say-ing (mockingly to PAS), Negri Sembilan and Malacca are ours.

PAS: Agree

MB PKR: But boss..

PKR De Fecato Leader: I said you shut up. This is consensus. My personal opinion, I agree.

MB PKR: No boss.. what about Johore?

PKR De Fecato Leader, DAP, PAS: (short silence then) Hahahahahahaha

MB PKR: What?

PKR De Fecato Leader, DAP, PAS: Hahahahahahaha

MB PKR: Okay, I get it. Then what about Perlis and Pahang huh? Hahahahahaha.

PKR De Fecato Leader, DAP, PAS: (all looking disdainfully at MB PKR)

PKR De Fecato Leader, DAP (Most senior DAP restraining senior DAP), PAS: Islamic state lah!

MB PKR: Negri and Malacca also Islamic state?

Senior DAP: Over my dead body!

PAS: You shut up!

Senior DAP: No, you shut up!

Most Senior DAP: Relax bro. Consensus.

CM DAP: MB PKR, for Negri and Malacca, my Christian brothers here know what to do. Right bros?

Anonymous: Praise the Lord.

Another anonymous: Amen to that.

PAS: ...and Islamic state.

PKR De Fecato Leader, DAP, PAS and anonymouses: Hahahahahahaha

MB PKR: Now I get it hahahahahahaha..and Hudud laws hahahahahaha

PKR De Fecato Leader, DAP, PAS: (all looking disdainfully at MB PKR)

MB PKR: (Not fair. Boss can say, I cannot) So that means Selangor is ours lah?

PKR De Fecato Leader: That one, we share

PAS: Agree 100% (phew!)

DAP: Yes, Yes. Agree. (but we'll still pull the strings)

PKR De Fecato Leader: Huh. And these BN idiots say we never share.

ALL: Thumping table.

PKR De Fecato Leader: Of course we also have our not so secret weapon, for good measure.

NGO I: Thank you brother De Fecato.

NGOs II-V: Hear, Hear

NGOs VI-IX: You can count on us

NGO X: Free and fair. Brothers, in fact I have managed to make everyone pondans and women happy to vote in the next election.

ALL: (Bewildered)

NGO X: They all get to paint their nails for freeeee!

ALL: Roaring hahahahahahaha.

ALL: Good one, good one.

PKR De Fecato Leader: Thank you NGOs and our Christian brothers. There being no further business, I wish my fellow member Pakatanis every success in their own way. That is the concensus, in my personal opinion.

DAP: You go your own way. God bless.

PAS: And I'll go mine. Salam.

MB PKR: What about us boss?

ALL: Hahahahahaha. Good one, good one. (and standing up to leave)

MB PKR: (raising hand) Boss ah

PKR De Fecato Leader: What now?

MB PKR: You forgot the other important factor.

PKR De Fecato Leader: What improtant factor?

MB PKR: What about the Hindus?

ALL: What about the Hindus? Hahahahaha.

Senior DAP: Good one, good one.

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